- Why did everyone notice when Bill Gates farted in the Apple store?
Because they didnÔÇÖt have any Windows.
- Farts are like children.
You donÔÇÖt mind your own, but you canÔÇÖt stand other peopleÔÇÖs.
- Do you know whatÔÇÖs scary?
Attempting your first fart after having diarrhea.
- I got fired from my job delivering leaflets on flatulence awareness.
Unfortunately, I let one rip.
- What do you get when an aristocrat farts?
A noble gas.
- I just rang the Incontinence Hotline.
The woman said, ÔÇ£Can you hold, please?ÔÇØ
- I farted at work yesterday, and my coworker opened the window.
It must have been bad ÔÇö weÔÇÖre flight attendants.
- My partner said he wanted to heat things up in bed.
So I farted under the sheets.
- I didnÔÇÖt fart in front of my partner until we got married.
Her family wasnÔÇÖt too impressed.
- An old married couple is at a concert one Friday night,┬áwhen the woman turns to her husband and says, ÔÇ£IÔÇÖve just let out a really long, silent fart. What should I do?ÔÇØ
The husband tells her, ÔÇ£Replace the battery in your hearing aid.ÔÇØ
- A fart is like success.
It only bothers you when itÔÇÖs not your own.
- If you farted while traveling at the speed of sound, would you smell it before you heard it?
- Why did the chicken cross the road?
She didnÔÇÖt want the other chickens to notice that she farted.
- Did you hear the one about the blind and heartbroken skunk?
She fell in love with a fart.
I 'feel' a new money making venture....the first in NZ perhaps.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjwKAQxSyMQ
Drunk walks in a bar and says, "I'll fart the Star Spangle Banner for two beers." Bartender says, "Go for it!" Drunk climbs on the bar, people gather round. The drunk then drops his pants, gets on all fours and proceeds to sh*t all over the bar. "Wait a minute," the bartender says, "What in the hell did you do that for?" Without missing a beat the drunk replies, "Hey, even Frank Sinatra has to clear his throat before performing!