How do children of 9 know they're gay?

[Outsider]

I'm asking because I'm genuinely puzzled. 
I remember being 9 years old and my children being 9 years old, and there's no way any of us would have had the maturity to know that then.
I've heard people say they knew at a young age but why were they even thinking about that?

Here's the link I was just reading: https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/gender-and-society/300551963/auckland-mum-sets-up-social-group-so-younger-queer-children-can-be-themselves 

If you were to ask a child that young if they prefer their own sex to make friends with, of course they would say Yes, because they more often than not have more friends of the same sex before high school, from my experience. Some boys may have friends who are girls, and vice versa, but that doesn't necessarily mean they are gay.
And because they have no knowledge of sexual relationships at that age - how do they know they're gay?

If anyone has any personal experience of this that they wouldn't mind sharing, I'd really like to learn more.

I myself was never a 'girly-girl' who liked playing with dolls or dressing up in frilly clothes and I did think boys had more fun.
I was also more interested in Maths and Science, and still am.
But when I got older I wasn't attracted to females for sexual relationships - only men. And I'm married with 2 children.

*Edited to add* I went to an all girls school and as a teenager did have 'crushes' on older girls at the school but I think that's different, and maybe everyone has that experience as a teenager as they try to figure out who they are?

[Magoo]

i thought you were gay if you wanted to put another mans penis in your bottom

[king1]

maybe it is a natural conclusion to be drawn by a nine year old boy these days, after all we all know that girls have girl germs until at least 12 or so... Therefore, not liking girls, you must be gay...

Now, this is a modern conclusion, because nothing seems to be taboo these days, whereas when I was that age, gay was kind of a taboo and a young nine year old boy back then was probably just lost and wondering where he fits in, until the girl germs were cured...

[Magoo]

what, so no bottoms?

[Oh_hunnihunni]

I remember being nine and knowing I was very much a girl. In fact, I remember my first kiss, from a boy and how I liked it.

I was four.

[Oldfellah]

I refuse to believe that any 9 year old would know about their own sexuality at that age.

[Lilith7]

I can't recall coming across anyone understanding they were gay at that age, either. I wonder if its to do with being gay being more accepted these days, rather than as it was in the past.

[Oh_hunnihunni]

I think young children know how their bodies feel though. And it must be truly awful to feel at odds with the one we live in.

Mind you, that said, it gets pretty trying in old age when the bloody thing starts betraying us...

[Lilith7]

I think young children know how their bodies feel though. And it must be truly awful to feel at odds with the one we live in.

Mind you, that said, it gets pretty trying in old age when the bloody thing starts betraying us...

 Yes indeed - it must be a horrible feeling, to feel that you're in the wrong body. 


And yes - the first clever clogs who comes up with a way to give older people the energy they had at 25 without the pains of old age, will make their fortune!


I expect that's going to happen the day after I fall off the perch.

[Oh_hunnihunni]

We all know kids who are being raised to be people their parents think they should be, despite obvious signs they are never going to fit that mold. Or role. Or set of expectations. Some of us as first time parents make that mistake, and wear the consequences for a very long time. Our children are not mini mes, they are their own creations and are full of surprises we never expected.

The sooner we all learn that, and redesign all our social mechanisms - like education - to take account of that reality the sooner we will grow a healthier society.

[Magoo]

lillith
And yes - the first clever clogs who comes up with a way to give older people the energy they had at 25 without the pains of old age, will make their fortune!

have you tried methamphetamine?

[Lilith7]

lillith
And yes - the first clever clogs who comes up with a way to give older people the energy they had at 25 without the pains of old age, will make their fortune!

have you tried methamphetamine?

Not a chance in hell!


Mind you, when young & stupid, I tried a few other things...

---

We all know kids who are being raised to be people their parents think they should be, despite obvious signs they are never going to fit that mold. Or role. Or set of expectations. Some of us as first time parents make that mistake, and wear the consequences for a very long time. Our children are not mini mes, they are their own creations and are full of surprises we never expected.

The sooner we all learn that, and redesign all our social mechanisms - like education - to take account of that reality the sooner we will grow a healthier society.

I think too, our education system needs to recognise that different people learn in different ways, & make sure each child is being taught in the best way for them to learn.
It took them long enough to recognise dyslexia, & that mistake shouldn't happen again.

[Magoo]

i know a teacher of 5/6 years olds who vows she can pick the gay ones at that age